Such a little ray of sunshine!

Well, I noticed that things have been a bit, well, gloomy around here lately. I haven't been at the top of my game, and I know Chubby's struggling as well. Anyway, I found this great article on weight loss success stories (there are loads of them) and I thought I'd post the link:

http://magazines.ivillage.com/goodhousekeeping/archive/0,,284561,00.html

At least it's a bit more upbeat. Actually, I found some of these to be really inspiring. God, I love ivillage. My favorite quote from the article?

Weight loss isn't about perfection, it's about persistance.

Definitely words to remember.

-Tubby-

...and again

I binged again last night. I'm definitely not weighing in on monday. Sorry, but I can't face the numbers.

Update: And again. I went over my calories (way beyond) on white whine. I'm desperately trying to get the anxitety under control, and drugs and alchohol is the only thing I know can help, if only for a short while. While I was drunk, I suddenly thought food was a good idea. I'm SO off track. I should start over.

-Chubby-

Evil, boredom be thy name...

Things that make me binge:

• Stress
• Sleep deprivation
• Hunger (for obvious reasons)
• Boredom

The last one pisses me off the most. I mean, come on, am I really so weak-minded that I can think of nothing better to do than occupy my time with food??? Why are some people born with this ability to spend their free time productively (ie, reading, cleaning, stamp-collecting, like I really know what productive people do) while others (like, ahem, me) feel the need to fill their lives with such quality pasttimes as eating, shopping, and sleeping?

I need a new hobby.

-Tubby-

I binged

I binged last night. A medium sized binge for me, which means a huge binge for anyone else. I'm just having a really bad time at work at the moment. I can't deal with it, so I deal with stuff the only way I know how to- by binging. It's either that or getting drunk. I need to learn how to deal with bad things, or I'll never quit binging.

-Chubby-

Second weigh-in

My second weigh-in confirmed what I already knew- I've gained. Hopefully, most of it is water.

1st weigh-in: 164 lbs (74. 3 kgs)

2nd weigh-in: 167 lbs (75.9 kgs)

Total weigh loss: 0 lbs/kgs

I've gained 3 lbs in one week, that's impressive!

-Chubby-

I've lost a bit (yay!), not much, but I wasn't expecting much after the fiasco that was Sunday night. I don't have time for conversions etc right now, I'm on my lunch break at work, but official weight is 142. Still nothing to be proud of after last week, but I'm just happy to see it go down. I'll edit this later with kilos, etc.

2nd weigh-in: 142 lbs (64.4 kgs)

Total weight loss: 3 lbs (1.36 kgs)

Yeah, I finally updated about 4 days or so later.

-Tubby-

Time to pay the piper...

I'm still not sure what that phrase means, exactly, but it doesn't sound fun. Either way, I'm in for the weigh-in tomorrow as well. I'm not looking forward to it, but I never do anyway, even on a good week.

Still, fingers crossed, it has to be better than last week! Now, I must run, my apartment's a mess and I'm expecting people tomorrow, and those people are not expecting to see me living in such a deplorable state of mayhem. Or maybe they are, who knows. Best not chance it, though. I'd rather clean like a mad-woman for the next few hours and have people think I'm some domestic goddess. Which, of course, I am.

-Tubby-

Fear

I've decided to weigh in tomorrow, despite my fear that I've gained loads (I'm retaining water as well now). I need to face the consequences of my actions.

I've been invited to dinner at my aunt's house at Tuesday, that's not good. Not good at all. I won't know the calories in the food. But I couldn't just say no either.

-Chubby-

The "Way to go, Tubs" Post

Binged tonight. I don't even know why. Spent the day looking at wedding cakes (weddings and cakes just happen to be two of my least favorite things in the world). The day was just barely even mildly stressful...so why??? Why did I do this to myself???

At one point, plans for tonight included cleaning and possibly getting ideas to redecorate. Instead, I'm just going to feel sorry for myself until my sleeping pills kick in. So, meh on me. Start again in the a.m., I suppose.

-Tubby-

Getting out of Bingelandia

I fought my way out of Bingelandia yesterday. I did ok with the food, I was on a date but only had two glasses of white wine (200 calories), while my date ate as well.

Tonight I will be going over my calorie limit because of the party (yes, I'm getting drunk), but instead of stuffing myself as I know I'll break my calorie limit anyway (like I used to before), I'm sticking to my diet until the party begins.

Tomorrow, I'll be back on track, and stay there for a long while.

-Chubby-

The "Tubby" Diet

As Chubby mentioned a few posts earlier, some rules are meant to be broken. I just hate that it's taken me so long to realize this. Letting go of some of these "diet" expectations I've learned to set for myself has made this all so much better.

First of all: I DO NOT HAVE TO FOLLOW SOME STUPID MEAL PLAN DRAWN UP BY SOME WEIRDO GURU. I am not waking up an hour earlier so I can make a tomato-avacado omelet with 12oz of coffee, 1/2t of creamer. Or whatever. Furthermore, I don't like salmon, I'm not eating raw carrot sticks, and I will never want mandarin oranges on my salad. Ever. I'm picky, I can't cook, and I don't even like breakfast. However, there isn't some diet god waiting to strike me down for any of this. So I have a high-protein, high-fiber shake instead of an actual meal for breakfast. It's nutritious, and it is still breakfast. I might a frozen dinner as opposed to 3oz of chicken breast. Sue me. I get all my vitamins and minerals, I'm watching every last bit of intake right down to the sodium...it's what works for me. Diet gods be damned.

Also, if I must go over by 100 calories, I won't die. I won't even gain weight. In fact, I will still lose. My eating cannot ruin a day, it can only ruin a meal. Less than an hour in my life. And on days where I'm up for 24 hours or more, it only makes sense to eat more. I can't be on an exact schedule with eating. My life doesn't follow an exact schedule. If I have to custom tailor each day, than so be it.

And so what if I can only work out for 15 minutes at a time? It still adds up. At least I'm working out.

I guess what I'm trying to say, what I'm finally realizing, is that I'm not a failure because I can't live up to the diet standards of Glamour, Gunnar Peterson, or Dr. Atkins. And there's nothing wrong with that.


P.S. Lets all show Chubby some love right now. She's going through a tough time, and bingelandia is a hard place to exit. And if she doesn't want to weigh in this week then she doesn't have to. Rules are like new years resolutions, anyway.

-Tubby-